mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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