Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
