You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
