who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
