Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
