singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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