My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
