Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
