So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
