My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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