when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
