When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
