So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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