Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
