ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize