Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
