As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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