the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
