i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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