Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
