omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
