Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do vagina's smell?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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