Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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