remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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