We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
