You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
