After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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