It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
