just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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