I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
