I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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