my mouth tastes like poor choices
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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