Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
