It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
