What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
