i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
