Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
