Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
