Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
