How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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