I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
