Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
