I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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