Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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