Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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