He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The air was thick with penises
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
