Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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