i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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