Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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