Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize