its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
