Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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