I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
