And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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