Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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