So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
