When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
