and you said cock pushups were impossible
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
