this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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