He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
